The following is a series of e-mails I wrote and sent on December 10-12 2020. Only one sentence is edited.
This is a follow-up to Internal Harmonic Resonant Capitulation and the Void, as well as to Welcome to the Void.
If I had to make any changes, I would replace the word "endemic" (in part 5) with "pandemic."
1. December 10 2020 11:02AM
I’m sending this in case I do not get to talk to you again.
I was going to ask you what you have actually read so far, since that would help me gauge what to say at this point. Trying to control this process always seems to backfire: the subject matter being discussed definitely amplifies that effect. The clearest extent of communication is not possible when control is involved, because control is at odds with reality. Humans do not really have control over anything, and when they try to the result is damage. We do have free will, and that means we are responsible for the consequences of our choices. However, we did not create the natural world we live in, nor the physical laws we are bound to. Our bodies and minds are not really ours because we did not create those either: something or someone else did.
I have been disavowed of many unnecessary/selfish desires along this journey. I have tried to describe to you how exactly I feel, but I have not done an eloquent job of that. This is partially due to my being unsure of how necessary it is to do that. Emotion is not exactly the point, you know? But it is still present. What counts is whether I interpret and utilize it the right way. I have not always done that, because I made the mistake of going along with the egotistical instead of what is divine. Unfortunately, it is so normal to be egotistical (selfish) and short-sighted that even with a strong will to overcome these qualities, failure occurs nevertheless.
What is painful for me is that I want to succeed at conveying things as purely as possible, and I still fail at this. I’ve had a fair amount of anxiety thinking about any misleading information I have put “out there.” There is where the desire for control comes in. I cannot do much more than trust that other people (including you) realize that the process is self-correcting. I don’t want to tell you what to and what not to read, but if you aren’t aware yet, the last letter I gave you provides corrections to the previous letter (which I e-mailed to you on April 10).
It seems logical that the most reliable way to find correct answers is to imagine testifying before the being(s) who created you. In other words, if you're not sure whether you're about to make the right decision, imagine they are asking you this, and you have to look them in the eye and answer. This "imaginary" scenario actually does reflect upon the way reality works. At the end of the last letter I talked a bit about schizophrenia. The thing is, and what people do not acknowledge, is that every one of us is always serving something other than ourselves. More specifically, you could say that every individual human is always serving someone. The question in every moment is, "What do you capitulate to?" It is common to capitulate to the wants and fears of other humans. However, that is not the “right path.” I have previously used the term, “the original perfection of life.” What I did not consider until recently is that the way to restore the original perfection of life is to refer directly to what/who created it in the first place.
Time pressure is also a factor in remaining pure of intent. I originally had more in this, but I will just share it as it is right now.
Kim
2. December 10 12:05PM
I made a typo in that, and my 11AM appointment did not happen. I think I also used the word “disavow” incorrectly, but perhaps you know what I mean. That figures. When a very long-term game is being played (in contrast to short-sighted goals), it often is difficult to evaluate whether the “wrong” decision has been made. For instance, you might regret not having read my letters sooner, but it actually might be better that you didn’t. This is due to the fact that my ability-level increases over time, and if you read everything as soon as I gave it to you then I would not have been able to adequately account for any errors I made.
Whenever selfishness is capitulated to, people are essentially “imprisoned” by something, and they simultaneously “imprison” something themselves. They typically are not aware of this, because if jailers became aware of what it is like to be in their jail, they probably would unlock the doors. Human selfishness is virtually always at odds with natural law. People struggle to accept the limitations their bodies and minds are forced to conform to, and they become impatient to progress beyond those limitations. Steps in the process cannot be skipped, however. The consequence of trying to circumvent the process of life is degradation. This degradation is ultimately the result of people considering- from a short-sighted perspective- what “could” be, as opposed to yielding to the logical, long-term-success conclusions of what “should” be.
I’ve explained that I have been concerned about conveying information inadequately, and also blatantly sending the wrong message. Another major concern has been giving off the impression that I am something other than I actually am. Our last conversation should have made it clear that I understand I should not be regarded as “cute” or completely benign, even if people might think that in the moment when I run by or what have you. I’ve long wondered how I would end up having this conversation. For now, I will say this. The qualities I aspire to include such things as precision, purity, beauty, discipline, long-term species and planetary survival, real uniqueness, natural niche/fulfilling one's role in the big picture, logic, accepting that no human should try to control anything- especially each other, natural order, and personal responsibility. I think it is accurate to say that feminism is at odds with all of these qualities. I don’t mean mere effects such as women’s right to vote: I am referring to the ideology of feminism. I know it may not be wise to try explaining this in a relatively short e-mail, but I do want this information to be communicated.
I will be honest that I am going to capitulate to time pressure again right now. Hopefully I have not erred…
Kim
3. December 11 1:28AM
Previously I have stated that, "Love is just the force for your self-realization." This is basically correct. In real love, humans do not distract one another from the eternal. People often get this wrong. Instead they use what they call "love" and "attraction" to provide mere pleasure, relief, comfort, warmth, diversion, and so on to themselves. Altogether, an illusion of control is formed. When people look into each other's eyes they should see further-- not lesser, effectively blinded by a sensual and egotistical moment. Purity is an underrated and essential component of love. For real love to become possible between people, they each must forge an individual connection to the highest interest available to them: this interest comes from what/who made them.
Through these e-mails I am describing what it takes to discern the complete truth as well as the highest interest at hand. Meeting your maker; intending to serve long-term, more-than-human interests; logic; and purity of intent. The "counterintuitive" reality commonly missed is that people actually get closer to their real potential when they selflessly accept their place in serving the highest interest of the universe (which is the transcendence of God). Humanity presently has been all but defeated by selfishness. The great irony is that when people capitulate to selfishness they become more dependent on the dwindling crude-oil-based economy (whose currency is "petrodollars"), and they thus become less self-sufficient. In the context of present circumstances, a community capable of providing for itself would require selfless individuals, since only this type of person can exchange the chains of money for the ability to extract, sustain, process, and produce resources by utilizing their own knowledge and labor-- all for no monetary "profit."
Sound is another tool for discerning truth which I am learning to use. In my last letter, I mentioned that achieving correct posture and physiological movements (such as those involved in running) seems to require a perfect state of consciousness. Just yesterday I read a piece of advice which states that the most efficient and frictionless running is as quiet as possible. Up to this point, I have taken a strictly mechanical and intuitive/feeling-based approach to adjusting my running form. I had not considered using sound as a form of biological feedback. Based on my experience thus far, I would say this could be the change which I have needed. For months I have let my shoes slap the pavement quite loudly, and I have incurred physical pain and damage. I am now inclined to think that everything we do should sound beautiful-- and the softest touch is the fastest way home. I am even typing more quietly now, and am presumably at lower risk of straining my hands (We shall see). It is so common for modern-day humans to gravitate towards the coarse, gross, sensual, loud, and obnoxious. A refined taste for subtlety is either largely absent, or at least all-too-easily overshadowed by what is crude, physically stimulating, and oversimplistic. People choose to burn up in what is blatant, instead of listening more closely to what is divine. "Internal harmonic resonant capitulation" is called such for a reason: it exists in the realm of the subtle and is meant to be kept within, instead of being belched outwards like all of the ignorant, unharmonious, self-righteous noises which are commonplace.
I have discussed resonance. Sound is the purest manifestation of resonance which humans are physically capable of perceiving and producing. Furthermore, sound is the non-degrading physical medium which humans can use to advance the state of their existence-- if only they know how. For now I will focus on using sound as a tool to discern truth, rather than its technological applications. Listen to how people sound when they talk. Are they purposely altering their voice to some extent in order to produce a certain effect? Can you discern the intention in their voice? Do they sound like some form of businessman, trying to distract from the eternal and divine while extracting ephemeral "value" for themselves? Or do they sound genuine? Trying to sound smart, friendly, funny, nice, reasonable, and relatable are all too common, and people fall for their their own and each other's opportunism on a regular and predictable basis. It is so typical to choose showmanship as the basis on which to communicate with other people: the unrefined humans of today are too cowardly to choose nobility. People think they will offend each other by coming off as "pompous"; yet it is by egotistical concerns such as these that people direct attention towards the unimportant and therefore "pompous." A voice that is not altered by petty, short-sighted, selfish emotion is the most truthworthy (that was a genuine typo of "trustworthy"). It is best not to argue with your internal evaluations of what you observe in people, lest your standards for what ought to be fall too low.
4. December 11 8:14PM
There is a dichotomy of simultaneously being a student while also wanting to keep things moving forward. Wanting, by the way, is essential to remaining engaged. So far I have found it is best to regard life as a book being written by the being(s) who created us, and I am interested in the information being provided from one moment to the next. This approach also helps me to not try getting ahead of myself, because the process is rather moment-to-moment, and the details of each moment should not be rigidly set down before that moment happens (the opposite of this is openness). When I say "best," I mean this is the best approach to take in order to remain on a righteous path of servitude to the divine. This means that the way to be strong is to be meek-- again, not relative to other humans, but to the powers in the universe which are superior to ourselves. Just considering that beings exist who are superior to us requires curiosity, humility, and openness. Are people willing to give those qualities a chance, or are they too arrogant? Indeed, it is extremely human-centric to imagine that we are both the only and the most intelligent species in the entire universe. That would reflect rather shamefully on this universe, and it goes to show how limited both standards and imaginations are within this species. Have people considered that the other intelligent species do not want to interact with us in our present state, because they use their intelligence constructively whereas we use ours destructively? From the perspective of all of the other intelligent species in the universe, all humanity as a whole is good for on its present trajectory is a meal for the hungry. That would both eliminate us and also feed those who are more worthy since they have been truer than us to the original pattern of life.
Did you ever imagine that I would address this subject? It has become pertinent, because I think the only way this planet stands a chance of surviving more than a few decades is if we receive external help. Achieving a position where that might happen is a rather delicate and particular matter, as all real success often is. We have to do as much as we can on our own, and not expect nor demand anyone to help us. We cannot become angry if we do not end up receiving help. We must be diligent about working for our survival along the right path, while at the same time prepared to hold a meek and open disposition towards those who could help us.
On that note, I will tell you a bit about my plans. I'll put it this way: if I had to have a defined "career path," I would say that is about to take a major change. Studying and teaching computer skills has helped me with certain things (e.g. logic, precision, processing large amounts of information), but that is not necessarily the work I am meant to do. For one thing, I have to develop skills that are useful to self-sufficiency: computer programming does not play into that well unless you can build and maintain a robot free of electrical-energy inputs that performs labor for you, which I cannot currently do and do not intend on doing. My point is that I have to learn how to create physical tools. The original intention was for humans to follow a path of creating more and more complex tools to the point where they become capable of creating new forms of life (which will not arise from "strong" artificial intelligence/the "technological singularity" that is presently worshiped, to be clear). Another quality that is supposed to be fulfilled by human creative ability is self-sufficiency. Instead, humans blame the divine for their woes while simultaneously refusing to capitulate to divine ways. My lack of ability to create useful physical objects is one of my weaknesses: my life activities up to this point have been mostly centered around reading, writing, running, observing things, and using computers. I did not gain in-depth hands-on skills outside of being a farmhand and a network administration intern. If you take everything I have said in the last 1.5 months into consideration, you might figure out what is the particular object I am most dead-set on building.
Life on Earth is becoming increasingly intense and dire. Short-sighted personal goals have to be increasingly released and subordinated to what really matters, if there is to be any chance of progress. The current set of plans and decisions depends on what ideas I get at any given time, what upgrades in understanding I achieve, and also other people's actions and their consequences. It's hard to make certain plans with accurate timeframes, but there is always a general idea and direction set. What is hard at this juncture is that it seems like I have to jump across a huge rift and leave what I am used to behind. It still never happens any faster than I can handle, but I do believe the pace is necessarily picking up now.
In "Welcome to the Void" (the e-mail from April) I attempted to explain or at least imply the higher-level reasons for physical events. As I said, regarding COVID I made the matter too personal and my intent was not pure, so the information I received on the matter was not as accurate as it could have been. 8 months later, I am able to revisit the matter with more sober eyes. First of all, the general concept I intend to convey is that everything which happens is due to both mundane (explicit, mechanical, straightforward) and spiritual (instructional; opportunity for growth; timely) factors. COVID-19 would not have occurred without the lab scientists in Wuhan doing what they did. At the same time, the pandemic occurred at a very particular timing: it marks the beginning of the end. It provided humanity with a potential impetus for rapid change worldwide. That impetus arrived at the time that it did, because there is not much time left. The virus had the potential to help us understand that we need to divide ourselves into self-sufficient communities, amongst other things. That is necessary to our overburdening of the Earth coming to an end.
The virus was supposed to help us realize and accept that our present way of life is unsustainable and, furthermore, inherently so. Humanity at least was able to discern between those societal functions which are and are not necessary in order to sustain human life in that society in the short-term. People accepted that not all forms of live entertainment and socializing are necessary to their survival. Even so, the big lesson was missed: that is clear from the spreading hopes that a vaccine will enable life to go "back to normal." Life will never go back to normal, for it cannot. COVID-19 was supposed to be humanity's last chance to save ourselves. 12 months into the pandemic, we have failed. The complete demise of life on this planet has now become a mathematical certainty, and many years earlier than expected. I do not fear being incorrect, because this train of thought prompts me to optimize my life-path and get to what is most important as quickly, as frequently as, and to the furthest extent possible. Efforts at advancement necessarily progress more rapidly now, excuses and distractions either fall away or are overcome, and holding back becomes increasingly futile. The best that can possibly be given in every moment is needed: dreams of escape must be crushed. Indeed, if real love is to prevail, then not all personal dreams can come true. They must be replaced by an understanding of a larger dream which is still possible and which on some level will always exist, even if not here. Things will either become more inhospitable and chaotic on Earth until we die, or we will succeed. There are no more "safe spaces" for humanity, and nowhere to escape besides individual death (and that may provide a rude awakening for many).
5. December 12 2:43PM
Purity of heart is a fine ideal in itself. People hate purity, however, because failure at is widespread to the point of being taken for granted. So, in order to rationalize their actions, people say that purity "does not matter." It is much the same with sobriety, which is a form of and requirement of purity. By the way, if it's not clear, "purity" means about the same as, "uniformity." "Purity of intent," for example, means that there is only one intention (or set of related intentions) behind a person's actions: there are no hidden agendas nor ulterior motives. "Purity of intent" typically refers specifically to intentions which are selfless and are totally untarnished by selfishness. When I speak of "purity," I am usually referring to purity of selfless intent and the implications of such (e.g. sobriety).
I should be clear, by the way, that my choices of words are not always as precise as possible. For example, I am inclined to think that, "The lightest touch is the fastest way home," is more accurate than, "The softest touch is the fastest way home." I suppose the latter is just nicer-sounding to the ear. It works for me, but I realize that when it comes to communicating that idea to other people, the former might do a better job of conveying the idea accurately. There are all kinds of difficult nuances like this. I realize, for example, that the term "selfless" might not adequately convey what I mean by it. In complete selflessness there is no concern for placating human complaints, wants, and fears. However, "selflessness" gets misinterpreted to imagine that to placate these things is to be selfless. Of course, in catering to the merely human, the entire rest of the Earth's biosphere and the rest of the universe are overlooked and, more often than not, disrespected.
I know some people think I am an idiot for experiencing certain thoughts and emotions, and choosing not to try physically realizing them. Such people are projecting their selfishness on to me. The reason I have so resisted my own immediate emotions is that I will for something superior to prevail. In fact, in the absence of all of the various subtle and explicit social influences which dominate currently, I do not think I would ever have such misleading thoughts in the first place. I would naturally be content with purity: that is the only way that Heaven on Earth could take form.
Purity is necessary to order. The opposite of purity is vagueness, nihilism, and chaos, which all run rampant now. Reality is precise: the details literally matter, because they are the ingredients which make each particular form of physical matter what it is. That is why I have said, "The most important thing is what you are." No two humans are completely identical. Everyone has their own set of genetic and physical qualities, and it is not possible for any two people to have an identical collection of life experiences. Everyone is unique and has their own unique role to fill, though no one can prematurely transcend physical laws. Still, they insist that they should try to do so. They trade large-scale order for what looks like a "good time" to the short-sighted. Sex, drugs, entertainment, trying to impress others, impractical pursuits, things which are not helpful nor necessary to existence-- all of this is chosen over order and purity. They will justify their actions either by denying the consequences, or they will even relish in the awareness that they are doing damage. I suppose the details of life indeed do not matter when the goal is just to emotionally drift from one moment to the next, exclaiming, complaining, proselytizing, rationalizing, and ultimately controlling in order to make it all possible. The focus of life is supposed to be producing: humanity instead has set its sights on consuming. The economy requires that people consume, and therefore deplete the Earth of resources. Humans have makers, and we are supposed to become increasingly-masterful makers ourselves. That is the "family business" of the intelligent species of the universe.
Speaking of which, here is one way to evaluate actions. In the first e-mail in this series, I suggested imagining you must testify before your maker, and you have to tell him whether a certain course of action serves the highest interest and why. Similarly, you can ask yourself whether the members of a successful intelligent species (i.e. the opposite of humanity up to this point) would engage in a certain action. For example, would they engage in bestiality, which is apparently more common on Earth than one might presume? No, they would not. Anyone who is not drenched in verbal-based defenses of selfishness disguised as "reason" would immediately know that the answer is, "No." But people respond with moral relativism in order to defend the selfish and the unnecessary. They will say, "Why does it matter if people fornicate with dogs? It shouldn't matter. Nothing matters. Who cares?" Then it should not matter if someone duct-taped this person's mouth in retaliation, eh? That is what is not considered. When nothing is held in higher regard than mere emotion and self-gratification, that applies to all people. If I would take joy in silencing these pointless arguments, why is my joy considered less valuable than that of a wiseacre or a pervert? Furthermore, if my joy is rooted in what is actually healthy for this species, planet, and universe as opposed to what is not, why does my joy matter less than the joy of those who would rather indulge in destruction? Even so, let us not make this about emotion when, as you can see, that leads to a chaotic and misleading moral relativism. The question is, Why would an intelligent species not engage in such actions as bestiality, pederasty, or unnecessary (i.e. non-life-saving) drug use? Why does it not serve our maker(s) to do these things? Because these actions dissipate order and transmogrify it into vagueness, nihilism, and chaos. Altogether, in the long term these conditions yield the degradation and destruction of life.
People are so proud, they will not admit that they are unhealthy and unhappy. They refuse to acknowledge that since crude oil has become the cornerstone of human culture, and resource-consumption has generally increased massively in the last century, mental illness has become endemic and, furthermore, taken for granted. People talk as if the most important thing in life is not being "hateful," and by this they mean not pointing out such things as selfishness, laziness, destructiveness, and wastefulness in others. In the current social atmosphere, I may be called a hater for even stating that such qualities exist! Again, I do not wish to placate emotionally-driven worldviews, but if I must then I would say that those with such worldviews are the real haters. They hate the intended pattern of creation, as well as the being who designed it. They hate all the intelligent species in the universe, except supposedly for humans. They hate all non-human species on Earth, except perhaps for their pet dog or cat which brings them words of praise from other humans. They hate the Earth itself. Who is the real hater here-- the one who would like for life to prevail, or the one whose every action makes the continuation of healthy life more and more impossible? People do not realize that the highest path to happiness requires that they do not worry for themselves, and instead commit themselves to the service of something which is better than human-- "better" because that is what created humans in the first place and therefore knows what is best for us. If that sounds untenable, consider what has been the result of humans trying to control each other and make up philosophies of life for ourselves. That is what has brought us to this point.
6. December 12 4:30PM
I may finally be at the end for now. I am almost apologetic that I even must talk about these things, but such is the state of life on Earth. To achieve spiritual purity in this social climate, it seems it is necessary to become educated in all the manifestations of, thought processes behind, and consequences of the opposite of purity. As you can imagine, that subject matter is inherently unpleasant. I trust I have made it clear that I have enacted my own violations of purity: therefore, I do not speak without personal experience. I have had to evaluate my own ideas and desires, and conclude that they were misplaced. I realize this is not an easy thing to do, especially in a social environment where precisely the opposite is encouraged and even taken for granted. But it is important to admit when you are wrong.
Here is a personal example. I have been running on a regular basis for the last 12 years. It would seem rather reasonable to presume that I long have done so in the correct manner, especially given the experience I have and the caliber I have achieved (e.g. approximately 390 total races and 6 years of trail ultramarathon running). But I am not drunk on my own level of accomplishment. I can see the nuances of my situation, and it has been rather obvious to me that the shortcomings and pain I have experienced in the last year-and-a-half indicate a need for adjustments to be made in my actions-- even if the coarse-minded, lazily-inclined people around me insist otherwise. After six months of attempting to improve my running form, it seems that in just the last several days I have finally made the changes that will spare my body of friction (i.e. blisters and various cumulative pains also known as "overuse injuries"). The core error I have made is overstriding. The reason it has taken me so long to reach this point of apparent success is that I thought I had stopped overstriding, when in reality I continued to do so in a merely different manner. I can rather easily demonstrate to you what I mean. The point is that this improvement would not have been possible if I had assumed that I had already reached the heights of perfection as a runner, and therefore I could do nothing to change for the better. It is key to stay open to improvements towards perfection and never think that our problems are unsolvable. Furthermore, it is necessary to define problems correctly in the first place. If I thought my physical pain was due to God hating me, or something outlandish like that, I would not have been able to solve the problem. Since I instead defined the problem correctly- which is that I was doing something incorrectly-, I was able to solve it with persistent effort and openness.
Though humans (including me) are ultimately not in control, I find personal responsibility to be of utmost importance. At the same time that I observe the destructive consequences of others' thought processes and actions, I still look to what I can do in order to improve matters. After all, everyone has free will, and I can exercise only my own. So maybe something I do will finally unlock the doors. There may be something I still need to learn, improve, or accept in order for large-scale success to occur. Perhaps I will appeal to just the right thoughts and emotions in just the right way. But I am not attached to this happening. If this species fails and its end arrives within our lifetimes, our souls will move on. What comes next for them depends on how we do while we are here. Perfection is basically impossible because everyone must survive in manmade Hell somehow, and that requires capitulating to its ways to some extent (as I said, I am trapped). That is how we have met, after all... As it stands, purity of intent and best effort are more important than purity of form, but the latter should never be forgotten.
Let me be clear, by the way, that a life independent of money is not independent of work. On the contrary: in general, more work is required on an individual basis to survive without money than with it-- especially in the short-term. Indeed, people who are alive now will bear the biggest brunt of the labor that must be done to rescue Earth-- if we collectively choose to succeed. The difference is that every bit of work is performed out of constructive necessity, and in the awareness of responsibility for one's own survival as well as one's role in life. Talk has been necessary in order to arrive at an understanding of what is needed, but I would like one day to transcend talking.
That is where I will leave you. I think the only other thing I will send you is a collection of resources I have on the methane hydrates issue, since that is pertinent. Otherwise, I do not know for sure whether I will talk to you again. I would not be surprised if I do, but I certainly cannot need to. There is quite a lot more information I could share- especially on technical matters-, but this will do for now. I had not planned in advance to send all these e-mails, though I do not think I have overstepped myself. I have described the mindset it takes to achieve spiritual purity. Purity of heart and purity of mind, by the way, ought to be subsets of spiritual purity. Perhaps, if needed, I shall explain in time.
Thank you, as always. Goodbye for now.
Kimberly Wrate, 12/12/20 4:28PM