You have to give yourself credit for what you have created so far. Otherwise, you will never feel good enough-- no matter what you do.
I feel so aloof, cold, detached… Why am I like that? How did
I get that way?
Nothing is wrong with you. You just have to be yourself. And your self cares.
Well, why don’t I ever see that self?
I don’t know.
How can you not know?
It doesn’t matter.
I feel like I’m being stabbed a million times over.
It’s okay. You’ll be OK.
Yeah. I guess so—right? I feel so bad for myself. It’s so stupid.
Don’t worry about it.
How can you say that? It’s the bane of my life.
Nah, it’s alright.
What? Exactly which one of us is resisting reality here?
Not the point.
Hm… Okay. I think the point of these “dialogues” is always to become one, unified voice—for me to embody what you speak. Is that correct?
You betcha. Anyway, you have to surrender to the fact that you are having the “problems” that you are. Otherwise you will never see them as being anything but that—problems.
How many times have I put my tail between my legs and run away… This is so hard.
You’re really quite OK, in my opinion.
It seems like everyone else is fine, and I’m not. Everyone else gets it and I don’t. Why am I so emotional and stupid and complex, while everyone else seems just fine? I don’t understand.
You don’t understand what you’re not understanding.
Which is?
No one hates you.
OK, but what does that have to do with this?
Everything.
Really?
Yes. Every social “problem” you’ve ever had begins with the assumption that you are hated.
Really… That sounds ludicrous.
Oh, but you are ludicrous.
Damn. What am I supposed to do about that? I can’t imagine a world where I am fundamentally not hated and abhorred and merely tolerated.
Well, is that how you relate to yourself?
Sometimes. I get scared of myself. I’m my biggest enemy, you know. I don’t know what to do. I’m going to lose everything.
What’s everything?
The threads of attachment I have to other people.
If those threads are based on falsehood, they have no basis in reality.
This is so depressing. I’ve been so disillusioned of so many things. It’s so sad and hard. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what will happen. And I don’t want to get hung up in an imaginary future that will never happen.
Don’t worry about the ways of the future. Simply focus on the connection between yourself and the other person, right now… Just see what feels right to you.
But my feelings get so convoluted by the thought-mill. I feel so lost in space—so without substance. I’m nothing.
Yes, you are.
Oh. I get what you’re doing there. Still, I don’t know how to talk to people so that they’ll understand.
Don’t try to be understood. Instead, understand.
Well, that makes sense. But I’m so afraid of never having anything to say. I think I just have to surrender to that possibility, however stark it may be. That feels like a punch to the chest and a hug at the same time. I really feel like that’s all I can do, because I don’t know what to do. Surrender.
OK—if that is what you wish. Take a different approach. Instead of worrying about surface appearances and metrics, just be yourself. Be like you would when running a race. It doesn’t matter what you think other people want, or whether they like you, or how you perform, or how long anything lasts, or how fast or slow anything moves, or anything of the sort. It doesn’t matter how other people react to you or what you think they want. The only thing that matters is that there is life.
That sounds like a perfect recipe for being an inconsiderate jerk! Are you kidding me?
No. You control nothing but your own imagination. So just do what you can with that.
You so desperately want for something to be wrong… But nothing is wrong. Life is fine. It is only the way you relate to it that you may desire to change.
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