The following is the ninth e-mail message I sent to Brian Harner, and the 20th message in our conversation. This was sent on August 28 2020, around 10:30PM EST.
Some of the information in this message was edited or removed.
Thank you for both interpreting and advising my situation. The feeling of needing to fight my way through Hell is pervasive. When I connect to my maker there is still effort to be made- even intense effort-, but it doesn't feel like nasty, wretched warfare. I cried while reading your e-mail, perhaps because it touches on sorrowful aspects of the struggle. "That aspect of your being is just waiting for the right opportunity to profess the opposite of an opportunistic reality." That's about as concisely as you can say it.
"There would be no need for belief or faith if your goals are aligned with his... Hammer home the caveats of intention to your psyche. When that goal is satisfactory, and you stop second guessing yourself, all of my abilities will become YOUR abilities." You are saying that all I need to do to gain your abilities is fully align my goals with those of my maker? It sounds simple though not necessarily easy due to all the detraction. It's as if life as it was meant to be is simple (at least on one level), but when it gets subverted there is a complicated set of egotistical symptoms to pull apart. The way people relate to Jesus and to Christs in general is an example of this.
"/pol/ is great training for this ideal. 'Brutal truth and fact above all else, and fuck your fragile sensabilities.' should be their/our motto."
Here is another situation that is not that simple. At least a variety of viewpoints can be expressed on /pol/, but if people end up agreeing with you (and I mean you specifically) it's not apparent very often. If it was worth the time I could make a compilation of all the times people argued with you, which I think would include about half of your posts. Of course, I know you can't not post on there, and some success is better than none. Besides, where else will you go... My list of links is from all of 4chan, by the way-- not just /x/. I also found your thread from the Jeff Bridges forum last year. I think I have 88 links because there are several where other people talked about you. but you yourself were not there. The final count is TBD. I've found the threads by searching for: ariantechnologies, Brian Harner, cavitation, and equilibriumist.
I actually got my "training" from 8/pol/ for about two years. Longer posts were allowed with more images per post. I never looked at 4chan because it was petty and subverted: just look at all the useless threads up at any given time (e.g. "I want to date this," "this group of people is inferior," OPs that say nothing). Now I often come away from /pol/ feeling like I've read a whirlwind of substanceless shitflinging, and it gets tiresome. On that note, I was considering to ask you to expand on the subject of genetics so you can finally put an end to all the threads asking whether certain groups of people are white (though many who post those probably don't care what the real answer is anyway). /pol/ is worth reading when anons have done their homework on a particular issue: yesterday there was an OP who is compiling all the video footage from the Kyle Rittenhouse incident, for example. There's a lot of garbage but the gems make it worthwhile. If I had quit /pol/ after three years of continually wading through all that, I never would have found you. Sometimes I can't believe that 4chan is the facilitator of humanity's redemption. 12 years ago I looked at 4chan a few times as a 12-year-old and thought it was the cesspool of the Internet. Now here we are. It was all worth it.
If only a way will be found to make it clear that selflessness is the brutal truth.
I'll have to do a better job of interpreting the images that come to mind. "They were created as a teaching tool" definitely reminds me of something, maybe a representation I have seen in fiction. One thing I don't get is, What happened to the remains of the Yews who floated away on boats? Aren't the remains of bodies best left to be decomposed by the Earth (i.e. not in a wooden coffin)? Did their bodies eventually fall into the sea?
I'll keep the conciseness of the term "opportunistic" in mind.
"Living this way sets up an immediate and apparent clash with everyone alive." "What that amounts to is a very lonely and solitary existence in regards to human to human interaction. The normal cues are not present, and this causes people to not trust me... mainly because I am nothing like them, and most of 'them' feel like they're doing this life thing correctly." Your clarifications of the fact that this is Hell and what that means make it easier to bear. That clarity may be, The Key.
"The souls that are tortured and murdered due to pure arrogance are the only hope for Salvation to everyone responsible for our demise. This is why I say shit like 'you'll regret saying that' in /x/ and /pol/. It's like getting mad and shooting at the only person throwing life preservers to drowning victims. That shit makes no sense... but that's the danger of a superiority complex and trained ego in hell."
"The memory of a hard working man that struggled his entire life to help his species transcend, has fallen by the wayside. There is no greater insult to a man that has done this in life, I know from experience."
"Unfortunately, people sell their souls to selfish indignation regularly, and in so doing, reject Divine instruction for an emotionally charged ego reassertion."
"Right now, people think walking the path of a Christ can only be accomplished by being a predestined Christ, and that is simply false. Everyone alive has the ability to utilize these abilities, but their intentions are that only a Christ can do these things, and by thinking that... they make it true. This must end. Both Jesus and I have collaborated on how to accomplish this, but neither of us have a perfect solution. The struggle continues..."
I might put everything you've said about Jesus in one place, and include what it means to be a Christ in general. This way it will make the full truth about you and him clear.
Your last paragraph is interesting. Empathy- to understand the viewpoints of others- takes genius. People are jealous because they want to be special like you and they think they are not capable? e.g. "Well, I could be selfless like that, but I need/don't have this or that." This gives me a thought. It's as if people are all "no-nonsense" and "normal" until they are confronted with someone or something like yourself. Then they think you got to where you are by some magic.
I have a comparable example. I live near a high school, Fayetteville-Manlius, that has won the cross country national championships multiple times. The coach, Bill Aris, holds his athletes to a disciplined lifestyle in addition to their training (e.g. dietary guidelines, no staying out late). He teaches them to have an attitude of selflessness and does not want to see any aspirations towards individual glory. His philosophy, based on the late coach Percy Cerutty, is called Stotan, for Spartan+Stoic. Both the level of discipline and the teachings set him apart even from other elite high school programs. I can tell you firsthand that the athletes and coach of this team really do just seem different from everyone else. Their behavior is dignified, straightforward, and calm, and meanwhile they run so fast and command so much power in competition. When I first saw them I thought the coach was a slave-driver and joked with my teammates that he must beat his athletes. I also was not a great runner at that point. 1.5 years later I became fast enough to compete against them at the state qualifier meet in track and I recognized that it was an honor to run with them, even though I could not keep up with them since they are the best. A book was published about them last year called Amazing Racers, and it confirms that the team has indeed received many criticisms of being a cult or hurting the athletes somehow. There is no proof of those claims: they are just the projections of people who fall short in comparison.
In your last e-mail you talked about violence and said there shall be none. Can you explain the use of physical force by the last potential Christ? Was it meant to demonstrate the war that takes place between the efforts of the Christ and humans invested in Hell? I know there were many peace offers which were rejected. Even then, I'm aware the answer might be that the "real" potential Christ was a woman, and she had to make her efforts in coordination with a man in order to fully realize.