The following is the seventh e-mail message I sent to Brian Harner, and the 16th message in our conversation. This was sent on August 28 2020, around 2:15 PM.
Some of the content of this message has been edited or removed.
In the middle of the e-mail I said that I was told, "You will make it,
but just barely." This is not precise. The message I was given was closer to, "We want you to see things through, but you might need to use all of the time available to make it."
Thank you for your answers. I thought the anon was well-intended and talked about "blood" to help us understand that a person's specific ethnicity is not what matters. "Breeding pure bloodlines is an archaic description of maintaining pure genetics." If genuine then he is an archaic being, so that could be why he said that. I also understand what you said about it.
In July 2018 I skimmed through a copy of Book 4 of Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch. The book focuses on the "Highly Evolved Beings" of the universe. "God" tells Neale that these beings can communicate with us, and that we need to communicate with them to have any chance at redeeming ourselves. The next day I found that thread, and it occurred to me that anon might be a Highly Evolved Being. Again, this was July 2018. When I finished reading the thread I walked away from the computer for a few minutes and felt this being's presence. So I went back to the computer to type out the information coming to me from him. The resulting document is just over 12,000 words. He "talked" to me about time, violence and force, non-verbal communication, and purity of heart.
You talk about timelines and I have not said anything about that yet. In the thread he talks about viewing time. I asked him what are the tools to view time. One of those tools is, “the pure heart with which to learn”. "The pure heart with which to learn" is the same as meekness and openness.
To be clear, when I said to him, "We seem to not know enough about race," he responded, "Most of your people don't. But even then those of you who do largely miss the point." So the point of race, according to this being, is the propagation of a certain kind of energy, both through reproduction and through what we are and what we do.
His basic message about time is that time is the only true measure of things. This sounds like your statement, "Almost immediately it was determined that time/me, having been created 6th in the sequence, had to be number '1,' lest the other attributes would not have substance to gather experience from." He says that what you do in one timeline says something totally different about you from what you do in another. The subtle effect of all timelines can be felt, but the most powerful is the actual, realized one. While many possibilities are out there, the most interesting thing is what actually happens. He implied that looking into alternate timelines can help us to see outcomes which we might decide we would rather avoid. That sounds like the timelines where you were murdered.
As for the health of the planet, he warned that we are on the verge of destroying ourselves through explosive, violent energy. He emphasized human acts of violence towards one another more so than anything else. He mentioned WWI in saying, "The energy of the Great War called up the dark forces of the universe. Earth was asking to be destroyed." This sounds the same as, Living violently turns us into reptilian food. And of course we are destroying ourselves through explosive energy, though he did not talk much about technology. So he was right, but I did not receive the level of detail you offer.
By the way, I think "Nephaela" is supposed to be the homeland of our maker. In the Bible "nephilim" are giants. When I asked this individual about the nephilim he just said, "You'll see." Two years later I have seen, in the form of our maker.
What he has communicated to me personally has been more useful than what he said in the thread. Every now and then he "speaks" to me, though I have not had contact with him since I found you. Maybe I just needed his help until I found my maker: we'll see. One of our most significant contacts was during the first 100-mile race that I actually finished. I hurt my knees by falling prior to the race and was in a lot of pain in the third quarter. With 12.5 miles left I took a short nap after several hours of crying while trying to run. I was nervous to get going again, and that's when I felt his presence. He "said" to me, "Do not become mesmerized by your own suffering." I was able to hold the energy of this message and I ran the entire last 12.5 miles relatively quickly and pain-free.
Intellectually I have felt obligated to check my thoughts with you to see if they are correct. I know you do not want that because I should be able to rely on my maker, though you do want to be asked questions. I can tell that to an extent I am holding myself back with this. You said that you do not really have beliefs anymore. Again, intellectually I feel obligated to talk about beliefs and use qualifying statements like "I think" because it seems arrogant to assume that I am right. I do not have your level of knowledge and ability so I have not earned the right to speak with complete certainty. This is also related to my desire to not impose on people. I know you have more or less given advice about that. It's worth noting that you are one of the most non-violent people and yet you are also one of the most certain (and correct). This is like how striving for equilibrium with all life and recognizing your superiors makes you a more powerful individual, in spite of not trying to be individualistic. You are the best example of that.
So, if nothing else I do have technical and practical questions that should be worth asking. At this point, however, I have love and emotional connections on my mind. In the last 2.5 months I have had some kind of communication/visions about you, in addition to nighttime dreams. I've had a few dreams where you gave me instructions but I never retain them upon awakening. The visions are more significant. They mostly pertain to me trying to connect with your personal resonant frequency as opposed to using language. I did have one such vision early this morning. I was able to feel that you have no ulterior motives and what is possible because of that. I saw that love between people is solely about giving. What stands out to me most is the lack of self-doubt I was able to feel due to knowing that I am on a righteous path. I also saw the possibility of calmness as opposed to the dominant social pressure to be selfish, anxious, pleasure-seeking, destructively emotional, and so on. Overall this vision was a lesson in the healing potential that exists when people change their disposition from anxious selfishness to calm and disciplined selflessness guided by one's maker.
I definitely was led to you by my maker. Starting in July I remained open to instruction from him. He "told" me to make you aware of my existence. I made a thread on /pol/ where I posted all the links to your threads I had at that point as well as excerpts from your book. After that I prepared many questions and other things I might say to you, but was not actually moved to action until two weeks ago when I asked whether it is possible to heal you. I read "My Friends" and should clarify that that is the only time I talked to you on 4chan. Otherwise, thank you for your acknowledgement. I have been wondering how you can see so many timelines but you did not see this one in which you survive longer than any other. Maybe it looked like I (and/or others) just would not get my act together enough. I often say that it is not clear whether I will win until the last minute.
I will tell you one aspect of my concern about overreaching. On July 27 last year I ran a 34-mile race on a trail in the Adirondack wilderness. I really wanted to do well and I also kept having the thought that I wanted to "overcome fallen humanity." Additionally, I got amped up by the fact that I knew many people in the race. In the first 100 minutes of this 7-hour run I destroyed myself. I fell multiple times while crossing areas that had stones, and each time one or both knees hit the ground hard. They hit stone several times as well, and both knees ended up terribly swollen. I also yelled out every time this happened. People could tell that I messed up quite badly. I never hurt myself that severely before and I still have not fully recovered. It took about three months for the swelling to become undiscernable. I felt that I got what I deserved for my attitude of wanting to rise above everyone else, even though I wanted to do that so that all that is truly "good" can succeed over what is not. I approached that race with too much hardheadedness, and ever since I am always wary of being that way.
I did achieve some redemption in July of this year. I signed up last-minute for a 50-mile race that just barely managed to jump through all the COVID hoops. It was one of the first races anywhere in NY to get approved since March. The message I received when deciding whether to sign up was, "You will run the race, and you will be made meek." 9 days before the race I went swimming in the Erie Canal. Towards the end of my swim a boat beeped several minutes before it passed me. I figured I will just move far out of the way to appease the boater. Of course, disrupting my path for others always seems to result badly. It cuts off my connection from divinity and I become less graceful, which leads to mistakes. When I moved to the very edge of the canal I smelled poop. I did a similar swim several days before and was fine, but the following day after this one I started to have "the runs." I basically got involuntarily de-shit-ified and lost several pounds. I went into the race much lighter than usual, which is hard on me because I am light to begin with. Early in the race I was able to connect to my maker and feel the innocent joys of living that he would like me to experience. I also could feel that he had an effect on my body, like he helped me to breathe more effectively. I've called this effect, "The lungs of the Creator." I was given two messages during the race. In the first few minutes I was told that this was meant to be a penance for the damage I did nearly one year before. Then about halfway through I was told, "You will make it, but just barely." I started my last lap with no time to spare (they would have made me stop and not finish), and I finished the race 33 minutes before the cut-off time, near last place.
Overall these seem to be lessons in humiliation and humility. There are potential questions to ask related to violence, but I think both you and my experiences have pretty much settled them.
I know running races may seem like a petty pursuit, but I think I explained that sufficiently on the "Arian Technologies Association" page. I've struggled with this a lot, but I was given a message which asked, "You mean the problem is that this activity is voluntary (as opposed to being forced by life circumstances)?" Given the present state of life I see running as a chosen way of developing various skills and connecting with others. Races in particular are the most intense and elevated experiences I have in all aspects of life-- emotional, social, mental, physical, and spiritual. Races act as opportunities to demonstrate what I really am while in the presence of others. In addition to transparently sharing my life's process (mainly on my website), I have had the idea that if I become a prominent athlete that will help people to see the validity of "The Way." Given the eventual endeavors I have in mind, if I am successful it will be evidently clear that I am not "crazy," "delusional," "misled," etc. Still, I know I cannot force that and I would not run if it did not have value apart from that. I also know that I can't get caught up in trying to prove myself to people. I wanted to let you know this is something I have long had in mind, even since I was a teenager. To perform your best athletically you must become a complete person. As such I have figured that if it is meant to be then I will indeed perform quite well when I reach the proper point on the path. Overall running has provided me with a practical incentive to continually educate myself and develop my abilities in all the ways that matter.
By the way, during my last race (August 8) I was given several visions of the past. These experiences were more like internal harmonic resonant capitulation than any others I have had: I was mainly shown images with emotions attached. There was only one set of words. I asked why humanity fell from grace. I was shown humans driving out the Yews and was told, "You threw it all away."
So far in my mind's eye I have seen the Yews as very large blonde-haired, blue-eyed white men who don't have mouths (though it looks fine on them) and who levitate instead of walk. Their facial expressions are genuine and free from blatant emotion. If you could hear their "voice" in any way, it would be a deep sound though not so deep it cannot be produced by the male human voice. I am aware that I should not get caught up in such imagery.
I will want to share the correspondence we have had. I'm hesitant only on some of the things I have said, like about my soul being German. I'm sure that will sound dumb to many people. There are also things I have yet to say. But, again, the point is to display the process as it unfolds.
I realize I have not asked any questions in this e-mail, though all of it is open to commentary. The change from BitCH to ACHe symbolizes the core of your message, which is to exchange arrogance for heart. When you consider doing this you will fear that you are making yourself vulnerable, and you also will open yourself to pain (heartACHe) that you normally try to suppress. In reality you are more vulnerable when you are a BitCH because that means living in a destructive, satanic manner.
I've wondered how emotionally overwhelming it must be to be a Christ. I've paid attention to how my connection with you feels special, important, emotionally significant. When you are Christ it must be that your connection to every single thing feels like that, as if you are in love with or married to every individual thing in the universe all at the same time.
In November I wrote a letter where I said the following: "I've thought that as I continually relate to things more properly and accurately I will increasingly be in integrity with my potential. Every person, every thought they have, every possible outcome, every memory, every feeling, and every thing in this universe is bound to me like a vine. If I could get the right handle on every vine all at once I would attain possibilities yet unseen. Part of the point of this idea is that just ignoring things is not an option-- not if I want to reach my highest potential; not if, as seems to be the case for me, I even want to live in this world."
I'm not sure there is not a specific question to ask. If there is a pertinent message to share here, perhaps you could tell me about your emotional connections to things. Maybe it has to do with seeing the beauty, the story, and the place in life of each thing.
Thanks.
-Kimberly Wrate